I have been quite overwhelmed with all that I have to do and remember for my treatment protocol. I can’t keep it straight. I feel awful and the daily B-12 shots don’t seem to be doing their job. I am beyond worn out fighting this battle. I am switching up my meds soon and I hope the next antibiotic will work better for me. I want more good days. This is not the road I want to be on… it seems never-ending.
Some days, I don’t know how to fight.
Some days, I absolutely loathe talking about Lyme Disease.
Some days, I want people to look at me like they used to and not with the sympathetic, “I feel so sorry for you” look… I hate that look.
Some days, I don’t make many plans because I dread that I will have to cancel them.
Some days, I desperately miss the body and mind I once had that was strong and capable, sharp and dependable.
Some days, I want to think about anything but how my body is failing me.
Some days, I just want my old life back… I miss it more than usual today.
God knew the groanings of my soul this week. I heard this song, for the first time today, and the words fell deep into my heart and gave me peace. I hope it encourages you, no matter what you are facing on your journey. I am thankful that the rest my Father gives is better than any medication, natural remedy or treatment protocol. I am turning my eyes upward and with fragile, trembling hands I cling to the hope that only He can give.
“My prayers are wearing thin. I’m worn before the day begins. I’ve lost my will to fight. I’m worn so, heaven come and flood my eyes…”